While this break from the gym has been a recovery period for my body, my mind is still incredibly overactive. I’ve been getting a great mental work out keeping my ego in check. Little goblin thoughts have been ever-present in my day-to-day activities, reminding me that I didn’t run yesterday like I said I would, or suggesting that maybe I should go to a level 2 yoga class instead of a restorative one. Saturday I decided to take advantage of the cool summer evening on a leisurely ("leisurely") run. I really did just want to enjoy the great weather, even though the mild sprain in my left ankle was warning me not to. While it was an incredibly refreshing run, I found myself more out of breath than I would have liked for this break period, and my ankle was starting to get louder with it’s I-Told-You-So’s. It was still yelling at me during my warrior two poses last night. Ego says No don’t be silly, it’s a good stretch for the ankles. Body says I told you the restorative class would've been a better idea.
So now that my body is making every step a little bit uncomfortable, I’ve decided to surrender to its whims of shorter walks and restorative classes, no matter how powerful I feel slowly lowering into chaturanga. This isn't a period of power or gaining strength.
On a more positive note, I'm really enjoying my mornings without the lingering pressure of getting to the gym ASAP. Again, having to surrender (this time to the schedule of a yoga studio) allows me to be more yin, more feminine and gentle.
This sabbatical is proving to be a harder workout for my brain than I imagined. Sometimes I find that training so consistantly has me tune out. Tune out the noise in my head. Tune out my body's signals to rest. Tune out the real image I see in the mirror, in favour of longing for the contours of someone's air-brushed body.
Four days in, ten to go! Happy Monday folks.